There were these two brothers named Shut Up and Trouble.
One day, Shut Up couldn't find Trouble and so went out looking for him.
While he was looking, a police car drove by and stopped.
He ...

Lem: "I got fired from my job as a bank guard."
Clem: "That's awful. What happened?"
Lem: "Well a thief came in to rob a bank. I drew my gun. I told him that if he took one more step, ...

A ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm in love with a twenty-five-year-old woman." ...