Funny Sex Jokes

Marge was in bed with a man (not her husband). All of a sudden, they heard a noise downstairs. "Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?"
"Just stay in bed with me. He's probably ...

Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a priest, and a pilot are in a plane that is about to crash.
The pilot says "Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let's give them to the 3 Boy Scouts. They are young and ...

There were these two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman ...

A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening.
The Father replied, "Well, son, they're making a puppy."
The ...

A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!"
He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her ...

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender explains that the bar doesn't have any quackers. The next day, the same duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender ...

The World's Greatest Cowboy (wgc) was captured by some Indians, who told him they would burn him at the stake at dawn. But because he was the wgc, they would give him a last request. The WGC said, let ...

There once was a man who traveled to a strange foreign country, and while he was there he found a strange old lamp of some sort. When he got home he polished off the lamp, and out came a genie. Then ...

I took my fingers and slowly, gently stretched it apart.
It was so pure and white.
I licked it once, twice... I found I couldn't stop. I
licked it faster and faster, and harder. I began ...

A women desperately looking for work goes into Erwin. The
personal manager goes over her resume and explains to her that he regrets he has nothing worthy of her. The woman answers that she really ...